You Are Not Alone

Psalm 23:4 "Even when I walk through the dark valley of death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me." NLT

If we know that he is beside us, why do we feel alone?
We as a people have alienated ourselves. We can stay connected with others from the comfort of our own homes. Texting, Facebook and other social networking sites have made saying hello a whole lot easier, but are we really connecting?

The best way to connect to someone is face to face followed by Skype, calling someone, text and lastly Facebook and other social networks.

Personally I know that I don't tell everybody everything over text. Why would I broadcast my struggles with sin over Twitter for the whole world to know? When people ask how you are doing over text the easy quick answer is good. Is this connecting? I have had text conversations about what I should eat with people. There's no depth to that. If Facebook and text are the most disconnected forms of communication, why is it our first choice in communication? We aren't being honest with ourselves, others or God when we alienate ourselves like that.

What can we do to change this?
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 "Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor. If one falls the other can reach out and help, but people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. Two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other but how can one get warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken." NLT

We need to start really connecting. Find a group of people you can trust. Don't hold back. They have your back. They care about you. They are people going through some of the same struggles you are. When we alienate ourselves we trick ourselves into thinking that we are the only ones with this problem. You also need to be someone who is trustworthy. It's not gossip hour, gossip is very uncool. Just be a friend and listen.

Jesus is the third person in the braided cord. He needs to be the center of these groups, in any relationship. He will bind us together. He will give you words of encouragement for your friend. He will give you answers to your problems using these people and through his word. We need to dig into his word and go deeper. The Bible has the answers to life; we just have to find them. The Lord will also speak to you, we just need to spend time in prayer, and listen for him.

We can do this thing called life. We just can't do it alone. So get to know God, with some Christian friends as your support system.

Everyday I get deeper in confusion

I don't know what I want. My problem is I crush really hard. It seems that every guy I like doesn't want a relationship, or doesn't want to date me. I like the fun flirtatiousness and everything that leads to, but I know that this will only set me up for heartache. I keep giving my whole self in these situations. I don't know why I cling to it. Is it because I like being told I'm beautiful? I know I'm attractive. What is it about hearing it from someone else? I keep changing my mind. Saying I want these things and then I say that I don't. These guys... some of them are amazing and so understanding. Frustrates me even more that they don't want to date me. Some guys are nice guys, but will try tempting me. Frustrates me that they don't respect me but it's attention. I like not feeling invisible. I really don't know what I want. I want to have fun, I feel like at the end of the day I will just be alone. I just don't get it. I'm told I'm pretty and funny and that any guy would be lucky to have me. None of these guys want to be that lucky guy. Are they lying to me? Am I repulsive? I am happy being single. I just would feel better about the choices I was making if I knew these people actually cared about me.

to top it off i have this battle going on. I know I shouldn't be making these choices. I keep doing so. Then i try not to but then I fall again. Wish I knew what I wanted

Life, how I love mine.

I went on a missions trip to Dominican at the beginning of February. It was something out of character for me. I have a comfort zone. I don't leave that comfort zone. I'm comfortable there.

When the thought of going first entered my mind I felt I needed to be broken to the things of this world. I like the nice things that I have and I like buying new nice things. I have become very materialistic.

Weeks before my trip I was questioning why I had decided to go. Was it because I wanted to escape the brutal Winnipeg winters? Hey, you can't blame me. I did find myself trying to think of reasons why I couldn't go. I felt that I didn't have anything to offer to these people. I couldn't teach a Sunday school class. I don't know the bible stories. I can't sing or play an instrument. I felt like sending a more rounded person was a better option. However, I did spend so much money on this trip already. Growing up my family didn't have much money, so I do not waste it now. So I went, not knowing what to expect. Not knowing what I had to offer.

I had only been on a small plane once when we flew over Swan Valley. I was nervous about this new experience. At first everything was okay, but then I looked out the window. Was I an idiot? I hate heights, I almost get sick on Ferris Wheels. Luckily the Dickison's had something that would help me sleep. I got a few hours of sleep in. Which was great because I was up pretty late bbming and woke up at 3:30am that morning.

That brings me to one of my favorite people. Alex!!!! I love him. he drove me and his parents to the Airport. So nice of him to wake up so early. Ya right, he did it so he could have the car. We had a great time at the airport just saying extremely random things. He and I need to hangout more on lack of sleep days.

When we landed I wanted to die the heat was so intense. I love warm weather but I get very nauseous in intense temperatures. We got to the hotel and signed up for our rooms. The lady at the desk thought that I was Sherrell and Terry's daughter, and Ashley's sister. We got settled in and met for supper. I'm not sure why Pastor Grant had to go to the front desk but he returned to our table and told us that Pastor Christian was waiting for us. They had already started church and were waiting for us.

I had never been to a church like this. I have attended quiet churches, where you sing hymns from the hymn book and you all say the Lord's prayer every service, and I have been to the new age ones where all you sing is Christian Rock or Hillsong. Our church is in between, we sing up beat songs and some of the lovely oldies, and our Pastors tell jokes in Sermons, we have skits and many more fun things like this. The worship at this Service was amazing. They all had an intense love for God. Their music was 2 beats faster than ours. My wrist got so sore form clapping. You couldn't help but clap along and get excited about the Lord, even when you didn't have a clue what they were singing about. Everyone was so happy to have us there. They barely knew us and loved us immediately. That is what Christianity is suppose to be like.

The next day we went to schools. The kids were so amazing. They ran up to us with drawings and cards, with their names on them. We took a couple Polaroid cameras and were able to give each kid a picture of themselves, they loved this. It did distract kids for the lessons being taught though. Ashley had got some tooth brushes Donated and was able to give them out. lots of kids came back for seconds even though we told them only one. It was so cute to see how happy they were. Later we went to another school and we did crafts with the children. Carol and Sherrell had prepared a puppet show for the children in Spanish, they loved it. There were a few kids who were not in school who came to watch from the windows. We gave them toothbrushes as well. Paul and Jodi even brought them out some crafts.

We had another night Service to attend. This one was even more different than any I had experienced. It was in the middle of the street. This was the Ghetto as they called it. If I had been there by myself at this hour I would have been really scared, but we had all these wonderful Christians around us. It also helped that one of the Church members was an ex drug lord so people knew not to mess with him. The Church had brought out their instruments, speakers and microphones. Motorcyclist would wheel their bikes around us to get through. People stood on their doorsteps and on the roofs to listen. There was even a Rottweiler on the roof behind the band going crazy. We sang two songs that were translated and written down phonetically so that we wouldn't sound too horrible. It even started to rain a bit but the band kept playing, The keyboardist put something over the keys and tried to keep playing Sherrell lifted it slightly so he could see the keys.

wow i forgot about this blog. i will post it cuz there are fun stories but if you need to know more just ask