I have started a new Devotional book written by Jocye Meyer. It's called "New Day New You" Firstly if you know me you know I hate the color pink for the most part. Since my sister was nice enough to hunt down a devotional book for me I won't make too much off a stink about it.
I have been thinking about my walk with God recently. The road has been a winded and twisty one. I have gone up and down. I became impatient. I want things to happen right now, in my walk with God. I would see people in the place that I wanted to be and wonder why not me? I got bored of waiting. I saw people all around me who seemed happy and I felt nothing. I decided if I wanted to feel love or just to feel anything at all I had to take matters into my own hands. I let myself wander and stopped keeping myselff on the track I wanted to be. I thought that I knew what would bring me happiness. I figured I would fill my time up with things that could maybe one day be... I used everything I could to manipulate things to be the way I wanted them to be, and got nothing.
Now, I just sit here smacking myself on the forehead like the V8 commercials. What was I thinking? How did I cover my own eyes and blind myself from seeing the wrong choices I was making? I know God knows best and has the best plans for my life, but I made my own plans. I have this strong need deep down inside of me to control everything. It's so strong that I rather choose things that harm me than let someone else have control over my life. How twisted is that? The only positive thing I see right now is that I know that my thinking is wrong and that I am trying to turn that way of thinking around.
I am starting at the basics. Day one of this devotional didn't use the good 'ol WWJD question but it spoke to me that way. It was about being Christ like. This doesn't mean we are to be walking on water or dressing like him, but that we are to develop the character of christ. We should be loving people, helping, giving...etc. I am starting there. I am trying to be kind to others; smile, even when I'm not in the mood to, be sweet, even to people who are rude to me....it's a difficult task sometimes but if we can change our reactions to situations we can change other peoples attitudes too.
Day two and three was about giving God your best part. Starting my day talking to him, making trusting him my first priority in life, making choices that will glorify him.
I feel like before, maybe i tried to skip over these things. I wanted a full relationship with God with out taking the babysteps that were needed. I had no foundation for the relationship. so I am building one now.... hope all goes well.
